Not only is the love of money the root of evil, but money can upend some seemingly well-put-together relationships. About a third of all relationships end due to disagreements about money. Never thought you had to consider your significant other’s stance on finances? Think again.
Before getting serious with anyone, you may want to have a full pow-wow on money before taking the relationship to the next level—since financial problems are also a leading cause of divorce. You should know your potential mate’s views on money before tying the knot.
While many people get uncomfortable talking about money with their significant others, this is an obstacle to hurdle over. There are just certain things that may prove to be a deal-breaker if you know your partner’s views on money early in the relationship.
Here are three common money arguments that could surely put a sting in your relationship:
1. Trying To Keep Up With High-Rolling Friends
We all have one or two amongst us—friends with expensive taste. They like to roll high and buy only the most expensive things. They eat at expensive restaurants, buy expensive clothes, and own only the best. They could live like this because they can afford to. They could also live like this and be in extreme debt. Either way, they always want you to come along for the ride. But you know you can’t afford to. So, what do you do? You have two choices. You can go along and keep up the pretense of being a high roller or tell the truth about what you can afford.
It gets even more complicated when you have a significant other. It’s one thing to draw yourself deeper into debt, but when you have a significant other, you could be taking both of you down. Not only are you putting both of you on a slow road to financial ruin, but you’re also trying to be someone you’re not. Ultimately, it can even lead to a slow death in the relationship.
2. Loaning Money
It’s not uncommon to have a friend or family member ask to borrow money. However, if lending money will put a snag in the financial goals you have planned with your partner, you may want to rethink making that loan. Never lend money that will ultimately affect your relationship without discussing it with your partner. When the two of you make the decision together, that’s a win for the cohesiveness of the team, regardless of if the loan gets repaid or not; however, when you decide to make the loan without consulting the significant other, it can end very badly, especially if the loan isn’t repaid.
Another scenario is that you tell your partner, and you both can’t seem to see eye to eye on what to do. Believe it or not, that’s enough to put a snag in the relationship all by itself because it could leave one with ill feelings toward the other. I know there are times when you want to help, but the golden rule to lending is if you can’t afford to have it not repaid, then maybe you shouldn’t lend it.
3. Varying Views About Money
In relationships, opposites usually attract. So, it’s perfectly reasonable to have one person in the relationship who is more money conscious than the other. The balance comes, however, when both individuals are willing to work together, compromise, and do what’s best for the relationship. It also helps when the couple is working with a budget to help keep things as balanced as possible. On the one hand, the individual that’s not as money-conscious needs to have some spending power but not go overboard. At the same time, the other needs to see their financial goals coming together.
The Bottom Line
Relationships can be hard to maintain. When you bring money into the mix, it can be even harder. When a couple isn’t willing to sit down and have the much-needed conversation about money early on, it could be a huge mistake. Talking early could alleviate misunderstandings and additional pain down the road.
Money is a serious issue and needs to be taken more seriously in relationships, especially if the person seems like a keeper. So, don’t be afraid to have the conversation. Discussing money could be what it takes to seal the relationship to take it to the next level.